Hello, I’m Theo. I’m 10 years old and I am visually impaired. Everyone
is trying to feel sorry for me, everyone thinks that my eyesight is my sentence.
But I’m going to prove that people with different health concerns can have an ordinary
life.
Now,
I want to describe one
of the white days of my life. Every day of my life is happy, but yesterday was a special day. So, I
went to scholl as usual. After school my best friend Jake and I were riding
bikes till evening. We had a competition and I won. I got to the finish line
faster than Jake. It was my first win for that day. The second win came up when
my parents and I were at the doctor. The doctor overhauled me doctor. After
that he said my disease stop developing. It meens that I will not go blind. It
was the most important words I had ever seen. I will be ably to see my parents
and Jack. I will also see fireworks.
And
now, I want to add you have to
believe in yourself and everything wil be better than now. I’ll finish my story
with very wise words that characterize me:
«You see things and say ‘Why?’, but I dream things and
say ‘Why not?»
What a beautiful type! It was very interesting to read you story! I like your conclusion the most.
ReplyDeleteIt was such a powerful story! You are right, we need to believe in ourselves and everything will be great!
ReplyDeleteTanya, it is a great story! But I think it needs a correction in some sentences.
ReplyDelete- It is better to say everyone tries in sentence #3;
- Sentence #7 needs word school instead of scholl;
- There is one extra word doctor in sentence #12;
- We need a past tense in sentence #14 - – It meant that I wouldn’t go blind.
- I think in sentence #15 you meant words I have ever heard;
- There is mistake in word ably in sentence #16, there should be able
- In the last sentence I think it is better to say I would like to finish…